Accepting Compliments

From Marsay

Receiving compliments is almost always a good thing, but accepting them is an art for the educated people. Remember that the person that dared to make a compliment probably means it so it would be rude and impolite to respond anything else than “thank you”. Most of us tend to respond to compliments by ignoring them, deflecting or denying them or giving just back another compliment. This manner of interacting is not the best, because it may affect our relationship with that person or make him or her never compliment you again.

Psychologists tried to find an explanation for why people take compliments so difficult. There is a certain fear that people will perceive us as conceited if we accept someone’s positive remarks or that we will be indebted to that person and we have to do or say something nice to her, too. But this is not true. Most of the people just say something nice because you diserve it and expect nothing back. So do not offend a person by rejecting a compliment.

In any given situation you have to accept a compliment with a smile and a simple “ thank you”. You can never be wrong with this approach, even if the person that complimented you was ironic. With the right kind of smile you can send just the right message about how you perceived the compliment. What is more, you have to prove elegance and not get in a conflict. It is normal to accept a compliment and it will not make you seem conceited. It is not you that made the positive statement, but another person. You just accept it bacause it would be much worse to suggest the other person is a liar or has a bad judgement.

You don’t have to compliment back the person right away, especially if you don’t mean what you say. Just show that you are happy and thankful for their appreciation and leave it that way. If you want, you can make that person a compliment with other occasion, at an appropriate time. You will be appreciated as an refined man if you do not try to diminish the compliment. For example, if someone compliments your suit, don’t reply that it is old anyway. Nobody said it is new. If that person had a reason to like it, accept it. Take the compliments naturally, with modesty and if it’s the case, give credit to other persons involved. If you are congratulated for a good job and a friend helped you a lot, too, mention that, but don’t deny your contribution. Act diplomaticly and nice and you will be respected even more.